Quaker Hill is one of the most renowned bungalow colonies in the Catskills, located in Monroe New York. Fortunate to have been one of the original sixty members, when it was founded in the early 1980s. Most of the families that spend their summers there, are offspring of Holocaust survivors. Over the years the colony developed into a unique, thriving, tight knit, family oriented, Torah community. Everyone raising their children together, sharing in simchos and growing together spiritually. A beautiful Beis Medrash, stocked with many Seforim, weekend shuirim and lots of camaraderie. Many important initiatives serving Klal Yisroel, were originally launched from here. The colony has come to be known as a very hospitable, charitable place, dispensing Tzedakah to Klal Yisroel.
One can’t imagine the heartbreak and trauma that enveloped this colony one morning, when we awoke to tragic news. One of the mothers, lost control of her car, while driving back at night, leaving behind many orphans.
As Gabbi of the Kehilla at that time, I witnessed the heart wrenching cries, bewilderment and shock that gripped the entire colony. It was obvious, that something needed to be done quickly to ease the emotional pain and stop the confusion we were experiencing.
So I reached out to the Novominsker Rebbe, who was residing in Liberty, N.Y at the time. Hopefully he would be able to provide some guidance, comfort and healing. After explaining what happened, the Rebbe accepted the invitation to come and speak to the colony. An assembly was arranged for the following Sunday, at which the Rebbe and Rov spoke, bringing some consolation and understanding. After the speech I drove the Rebbe home to New York.
During the private time we spent together that day, traveling to and from the colony, I brought up the subject of Bashert and what it really means. I said to the Rebbe, “no matter what happens, the first thing said is, “its Bashert”. Rebbe, does it make sense, to blame Hashem for everything that goes wrong and say its Bashert, especially when it happened due to a persons own negligence? Hashem is an אב הרחמים, a merciful father.
If someone is reckless, takes unnecessary risks, lives on the edge, behaves abnormally, contrary to Hashem’s world and then gets hurt, is that also Bashert?
After discussing the subject back and forth, the Rebbe said. “The word Bashert is the most misused word in the Jewish dictionary”.
The Rebbe’s answer was shocking and left a deep impression on me and on all the people I have shared his answer with over the years.
How important it is for us to understand the words we say and not just apply them to all situations haphazardly.
The word Bashert is
appropriate only when one lives life properly, according to the precepts Hashem set up for the world to run by. If people do things that contradict the natural world order and get hurt in the process, that is not Bashert. It’s plain foolishness on their part, and they are liable for the resulting consequences that follow. Expecting miracles at a time that contradicts Hashem’s natural order, is not the way a Torah observant Jew ought to think.
So it is important for us to live safely and properly and conduct our affairs according to the natural order in which Hashem set up His world. In other words, it is improper for one to blame Hashem for any mishap that takes place due to foolishness or negligence. It is true that ” ‘שומר פתאים ה “, Hashem guards fools. That does not mean however, that one should be a fool, or live like a fool and then depend on Hashem’s mercy. It may or may not come, depending on one’s merits.
We need to live properly and train our children to follow
our example.
With Hashem’s guidance and graciousness we will merit Hatzlocho, Brocho and stay protected throughout our lives.
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